


Half Mine

by HubcapsAndAshtrays



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Brief Appearance by Lena Luthor, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, The summary sounds kind of smutty... its not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-03-31 22:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13984371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HubcapsAndAshtrays/pseuds/HubcapsAndAshtrays
Summary: Four times Alex Danvers plays personal doctor to Sam Arias and one time Sam returns the favour.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Hubcaps what are you doing? Don’t you have another fic that you’re supposed to be working on?
> 
> (:

Take me by the hand,

Take me by the hand,

But don’t you get too close now,

‘Cause i’m a little bit scared of life.

 

* * *

 

The call comes late at night, a panicked, almost unintelligible torrent of words spilling forth across the crackling phone line and into Alex’s groggy ears.

She’s only able to make out a little under half of Sam’s disjointed phases, ‘my fault’ and ‘murderer’ being the most frequently choked out amongst the verbal sea of guilt and affliction.

There’s a painful, manic edge to Sam’s voice, a hysteria manifesting as a desperate gasping that Alex would give absolutely anything to never hear again. It smothers her exhaustion, kicking her into motion as she shoves the phone flush between her left shoulder and ear, rummaging through her drawer for clothes without so much as a second thought.

“Sam, where are you?” repeats Alex, trying to cut through the stammered rush of words. “Are you at home?”

A small affirmative is choked out.

“Ok, I need you to take a deep breath. In and out” says Alex while forcing on her muddied boots. Deep, red stains from an earlier DEO recon-mission-turned-ambush still coat the material.

She pushes the stains out of her mind, burying them, along with the jerking sounds of rifle fire at the back of her mind. It’s easier than it should be, her brain more than happy to replace those images with an excruciating reel consisting of a teary eyed Ruby watching on in fear as her own mother crumbles and breaks right in front of her.

“Talk to me Sam” starts Alex, forcing her own worry and emotion down, praying that it doesn't leak into her tone and worsen the situation. “Tell me what happened, start from the beginning”

 

Her bike makes the twenty minute journey in ten.

###

 

The maple door opens almost immediately.

“I told you not to come” breathes Sam, her quiet words undermined by her obvious relief at seeing Alex stood in her doorway.

“I know” says Alex before falling silent, watching as Sam lets out an exhausted sigh, slumping against the door frame.

Alex’s eyes drift away from Sam’s expressionless face and down towards her hands hung limply at her sides. Her brow furrows, heart suddenly lurching at the sight of the crimson rivulets staining Sam’s knuckles.

Embedded fragments of blood-stained glass twinkle nauseatingly in her bruised skin.

Alex swallows harshly, her eyes snapping upwards to meet Sam’s wide gaze, shame and a painfully uncharacteristic helplessness reflected back at her through hazel irises.

“Come on” Alex says quietly, before gently maneuvering past an unmoving Sam and into the apartment, clicking the door shut behind her.

Her fingers brush against Sam’s bicep, guiding her past the bedroom where Ruby slept and into the bathroom.

There’s a first aid kit under the sink, it’s existence having only been made known to Alex after a particularly enthusiastic headstand competition had landed Ruby with both a scraped knee and the title of ‘reigning headstand champion’.

It all feels like a lifetime ago now.

Sam remains completely silent, sat on the closed toilet seat while carefully regarding Alex with an expression akin to wariness.

Like someone who wasn’t used to being taken care of.

Like someone who’d spent their entire life searching for--and finding, ulterior motives in the actions of the people closest to them.

It leaves a surprisingly heavy weight in Alex’s chest, forcing her to look away from Sam’s intense gaze, her eyes searching for harbour on something else, anything else.

She finds ‘anything else’ with a deep frown. “I’m assuming the mirror deserved it?” asks Alex, gesturing to the shattered mirror suspended on the bathroom wall.

A small clink echoes around the room as a shard of glass carefully pulled from Sam’s bloodied knuckles is dropped onto the sink. The hand in Alex’s grip jerks, nearly dislodging the set of tweezers from her fingers as Sam flinches. It’s a sudden movement, one that Alex is almost certain is more to do with her line of questioning rather than the pain.

“Thirty-two people” whispers Sam, her voice as empty as her expression. “Thirty-two people. That’s Reign’s death toll, _my_ death toll”

Alex carefully lowers the set of tweezers “what Reign did, that wasn’t you Sam”

Sam shakes her head and it’s apparently the wrong thing to say because her voice quickly hardens. “Everyone keeps saying that but _I_ feel it” she hisses, an unmistakable tremor in her fists. “Every night i have dreams--nightmares, and every night i feel _everything_ she did, and all i know is that that blood is on _my_ hands whether or not i did it, whether or not i was consciously present”

She takes a shuddering breath, turning to the shattered mirror with damp eyes. “I look at myself and all i can see is _her_ , the murderer, the monster, someone who killed without even an ounce of remorse” a wet, self-deprecating laugh escapes her throat self-loathing dripping from the edges “how can you even stand to look at me? I nearly _killed_ you Alex”

“But you didn’t” Alex says simply while opening a packet of medical antiseptic wipes “you didn’t kill me because _you_ stopped her. It wasn’t Supergirl or the DEO or anyone else that beat Reign, that was you all by yourself.

Sam’s face crumples marginally, the crack forming in her composure just wide enough for Alex push her next words through.

“Reign was not you Sam, not even a little bit”

“How can you be so sure?” she whispers, a hint of desperation in her tone.

The corner of Alex’s mouth twitches upwards, a soft smile forming on her features. “Well, I see you and it’s easy. I see the love that you have for Ruby and for your work and… old, outdated Jazz music”

She’s rewarded with a tiny smile.

“-And i know that you’re not a murder” says Alex, carefully bringing the antiseptic wipe across Sam’s knuckles.

Sam lets out a gentle hiss.

“Go on, say it” encourages Alex.

The confliction in Sam’s expression fades to quiet determination. She nods, jaw firmly set “I’m not a murder”

It’s a start.

Alex finishes wrapping Sam’s knuckles with a warm smile “so next time that mirror starts saying things that aren’t true why don’t you call me, and we can sort it out together?”

The first aid kit closes with a gentle click.

“Ok”

“I can stay if you want” offers Alex, standing from her knelt position.

“That’s ok” says Sam “honestly, i think that i’m just going to try and get some sleep”

“Good plan” hums Alex, feeling her own exhaustion creeping up on her. “However, i am going to come around to check on that tomorrow”

“You don’t have to do that” says Sam, following Alex’s line of sight down to her bandaged knuckles “I don’t want to put you out”

Alex shakes her head “I insist, and as your doctor you kind of have to listen to-”

Her next words are suddenly cut off as Sam takes an abrupt step forward, throwing her arms around Alex. She’s frozen, taken aback at the unexpected contact before melting into the strangely natural embrace. There’s a stuttered stream of air puffed  against Alex’s neck as Sam lets out a jagged exhale.

“Thank you” she whispers into Alex’s shoulder.

Alex remains silent, there’s about a hundred words on the tip of her tongue, ‘I’ve got you’ or ‘it’s ok’ or some other platitude but none of them feel quite right, or at least right enough to match the unadulterated rightness of _this_ right here, right now.

She instead lifts her arms, gently wrapping them around Sam’s soft torso, her heart clenching as something that feels like relief seeps out of Sam, because she knows what that’s like, the feeling of the entire world upon your shoulders.

She knows how heavy that weight can be.

She knows how lonely it can be.

Sam lets go all too soon, hesitantly stepping back.

“ _tomorrow_ ok” says Alex finally turning towards the door “i’ll be here”

 

She spends the rest of the night wondering why ‘always’ had felt like a better fit.

 


	2. II

 

And you laugh like you’ve never been lonely.

* * *

 

It doesn’t feel like she’s stood in the middle of the city, not today. Not when she’s surrounded by a stretching, green field, the June sun bright in the sky and warm on her back.

Alex lifts her head skyward, taking a gentle moment to watch the birds--no more than just little black specks from this distance--soar against a perfectly blue canvas.

It takes her back, the deep cerulean transporting her to the small coastal town of Midvale. She can nearly feel the salty breeze against her cheeks, her memories conch-like in their ability to allow her to almost hear the crashing of white, foamy waves against a rocky bay.

Alex’s eyes snap open.

She’s suddenly struck by a solid mass. The force of the collision knocks the air out of her, leaving her winded and fighting to remain firmly on her feet. Her right hand shoots out towards her hip, a twitching index finger automatically searching for purchase on a trigger that isn’t there.

She’s about to manoeuvre her assailant into a firm choke hold when she hears a familiar, exasperated shout in the distance.

“Ruby!”

Alex freezes, a frown etching its way onto her features as she glances down at the mop of brown hair pressed tightly into her stomach and then to the two jersey-clad arms clamped around her middle.

A muffled giggle punctures the ball of adrenaline built up in Alex’s gut, the simple sound enough to dissipate her disquiet into calm nothingness.

Alex rolls her eyes, a fond smile forming on her face as she clutches Ruby as tightly as she can with just one hand, the other tightening into a playful fist to muss her hair.

“Let me go!” squeals Ruby, fighting against her grip.

Alex shakes her head, unrelenting in her assault “Nope, you started this”

She smirks as Ruby begins groaning unintelligibly against her stomach, something that sounds suspiciously like a rant on “surrender” and “mercy on the children” before letting the girl pull herself free.

Which she does, flushed and glaring, her nose scrunched adorably in a way reminiscent of her mother whenever in the near vicinity of a needle--regardless of whether said needle was intended for her or not.

Alex shrugs in the face of Ruby’s mock anger “you were the one who tried sneaking up on a federal agent”

Ruby, seemingly unimpressed with the smugness coating Alex’s tone lets out a dramatic, conceding huff before beckoning her rapidly approaching mom over.

“Hey” smiles Sam, slightly breathless as she finally reaches them. She glances towards Ruby, quickly doing a double take as she takes in the disheveled state of her daughter.

“Well, what happened to you?” she asks, amused.

Ruby sighs, shaking her head, apparently doing her best to look truly sorrowful. “I tried sneaking up on a federal agent, it went badly”

“Is that right?” asks Sam, turning towards Alex with a slight upturn of her lips.

It takes every bit of Alex’s DEO training to suppress the grin she can feel forming as she gives a sage nod “It was a bad idea”

There’s a bemused expression on Sam’s face, her gaze swiveling back and forth between a smug Alex and her overly defeated daughter. She stills, her gaze coming to an abrupt stop on Alex.

“Wait, what are you doing here so early? The game doesn’t start for another...” Sam frowns, her voice trailing off as she begins digging into her pocket with one hand while expertly balancing her bag, a lunch bag and what looks like Ruby’s jacket in the other. She pulls out a cell phone “half hour or so”

Alex gives a one shouldered shrug, trying for nonchalance. She doesn’t quite know how to explain that the time she spends with them, time spent helping Ruby with her calculus homework or working to pull a smile out of a world weary Sam is the only time she’s able to feel truly _normal_.

It probably speaks volumes about the state of her social life that she feels most normal around a genetically modified alien and her mostly human daughter. Alex, however, finds she doesn’t care, and neither does her subconsciousness judging by the fact that it’s only when she’s around both Sam and Ruby that she feels able to finally shrug off the weight of the world and the illusion of complete control that comes with it.

It’s a feeling of relief that she hasn’t felt since Mag- since her sister crashed landed into her life.

Not that she would take any of it back, not at all. it would, however, be nice to actually remember the last time she was able to spend the afternoon outside without an alien or alien-weapon-wielding-human trying to kill her.

So now the question was, how do you put into words what would cause even the most rational person to run?

Easy, you don’t.

Alex grins, settling for a not entirely untrue excuse about ‘wanting to catch the star player before she went in.’ She seals it with a high five which Ruby--seeming to have forgiven all transgressions against her, eagerly accepts.

“Alex has been helping me practice. Mom, did you know she can kick a curve-ball? It’s the coolest thing ever!”

“Wow” says Sam, kneeling down and attempting to bring some order to her daughter’s bedraggled state “that _is_ pretty impressive”

“It’s all physics really, the Magnus effect is pretty much fluid mechanics 101” says Alex, shuffling her feet while trying to drown out the suspiciously Kara-like voice screaming ‘nerd!’ in her ears.

“Right” starts Sam, tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear “i forgot that you’re... You know”

Alex’s brow furrows at the vague wave Sam gives “forgot that i’m what?” she asks curiously.

“I mean, a doctor, a federal agent and now according to Ruby some sort of soccer prodigy” she lists each one off on her fingers. “Is there seriously anything you can’t do?”

“A few things”

Sam snorts “I find that hard to believe”

Alex, noting Sam’s genuinely disbelieving expression rises to the challenge. “I can’t cook, both Ruby, Kara and practically anyone else I've ever tried to cook for can vouch for that”

Rather than conceding Sam instead crosses her arms, completely throwing Alex off guard with an arch “I’ll believe that when i see it”

The remark shouldn’t off-balance her the way it does. There’s no reason for it to, not when she’s spent countless afternoons at the Arias residence sat beside Ruby eating--according to said preteen--Sam’s ‘unbeatable’ turkey sandwiches, or the few mornings spent flipping pancakes at Sam’s stove, filling in for the sitter before dropping a reluctant Ruby off to school.

Point is, the insinuation that Alex might one day find herself cooking--or doing her version of it--for Sam shouldn’t have been a strange one. Except, the implications are there and they’re screaming at Alex, hitting her with amber-tinted images of her apartment and Sam and _dinner_.

It’s unclear as to whether or not Sam’s reached a similar line of thought. Her face remains neutral, almost unreadably so. Her eyes, however, tell a different story, watching Alex with a keen interest and a sharp intensity, suggesting to Alex that she may not be quite as alone in her rumination as previously thought.

She isn't quite sure how to describe how that makes her feel.

There’s a call for the players in the background somewhere, but it’s not nearly enough to break her out of the ambivalence that was Sam’s quiet contemplation.

“That’s me mom..”

“Right” says Sam, tearing her eyes away from Alex’s and quickly turning towards Ruby before gathering her daughter up in a tight hug. “Do your best and try not to hurt yourself or anyone else”

Ruby makes a face “even Paige Nelson?”

“Yes” puffs Sam, rolling her eyes “ _even_ Paige Nelson”

“Remember what i said about shooting wide, not high” says Alex.

“Shoot wide and across the keeper” recites Ruby with a sharp nod “preferably towards the left”

“Perfect, you’ve got this” says Alex, launching into an intricate and meticulously practiced handshake with Ruby before she runs off to join the other kids, a skip in her step.

Sam watches Ruby go, mirth clear in her expression “that was new, what was that?”

“Top secret handshake. I can’t talk about it much, sorry, its classified” says Alex, a teasing lilt to her voice as they begin walking towards the rows of folding chairs set out on the grass.

Sam shakes her head, letting out a chuckle “of _course_ it is”

There’s no hesitation in Sam’s stride as she sits down right in the center of the very front row, adjusting her seat to get the best view of her daughter out on the field.

The players in Ruby’s team position themselves in a large circle on the left side of the pitch. The coach, stood in the middle, bounces around energetically, seeming to give some sort of team pep talk.

Alex searches the circle of children and catches Ruby’s eye, she shoots her a thumbs up and is rewarded with a bright, beaming smile.

“Thank you for being here” murmurs Sam, her gaze cast out into the field. “Ruby, she doesn’t really have anyone else besides me and it means the absolute world to her that you’re here to support her”

Alex shrugs it off, self-consciousness colouring her cheeks “It’s nothing”

“No, it’s not nothing” says Sam, turning to face Alex, completely serious “i’m not an idiot, i know that you have other things you’d rather be doing on your day off, hell, i don’t even know if this _is_ your day off. Nevertheless, you’re choosing to spend it watching my kid’s middle school soccer game”

There’s a certain amount of disbelief in Sam’s voice. It’s a lilt that both she and Ruby regularly take on, a type of gained dubiety that seemed to continuously be there, whether it be a wary glance or confused brow furrow, as if they expect her to walk away every and any second that she is around, as if the notion of someone outside of their small mother-daughter family actually _wanting_ to stick around is one too unrealistic.

As if they don't both deserve the world.

Sam shakes her head, it’s a movement completely different from her earlier amused sway, sadder.

“She speaks about you _all_ time, always telling me about the things you taught her or about all the things you know how to do. I’ve never seen her with as much confidence as she has had recently, and i know that that’s because of you”

The players out on the field place their hands together in a tight circle before pulling back with a loud shout.

Sam takes a deep breath, her fingers worrying the edge of the bandage still wrapped around her knuckles “I just want you to know, _need_ you to know that she appreciates it, and so do i”

 _Earnest_ , it was a word that Alex had thought she known, except, now she's realising that that might not be the case, not truly, not when all the sincerity she’s ever witnessed in near thirty years suddenly pales in comparison to the ardent honesty on Sam’s face.

The deep olive of Sam’s blouse appears almost golden in the vivid sunlight. She brings up a hand, brushing her dark hair over one shoulder and Alex quickly finds herself unable to stop from following the swirling motion of the strands as they cascade down one side of Sam’s neck, leaving the other exposed and open.

She drags her eyes away, hoping that her next words carry even a fraction of the candid sincerity as Sam’s had.

“I’m not going anywhere”

###

 

The game is going well, it’s a lot less of a violent affair than Alex would have expected from a bunch of middle-schoolers, the only hiccup being one particularly nasty foul by a girl, pointed out by a disgruntled Sam as the ‘infamous Paige Nelson’. Ruby, from her position on the field takes the opportunity to shoot a knowing look towards her mother.

Their position seated in the front row makes this a regular occurrence. Ruby glancing over every so often, either to make sure that they both catch each and every one of her goals or in embarrassment when Sam’s proud cheers are the loudest of all the parents.

Alex grimaces, watching as a midfielder of the opposing team kicks the ball ridiculously wide and completely off-center of her exasperated teammate, so much so that Alex could have sworn that jersey number fourteen was purposefully aiming for the innocent Golden Retriever being walked by its owner.

“So Ruby told me that she needs a better soccer ball” starts Sam, her attention moving away from the game and towards Alex “she was so set on it, saying all these words that i honestly don’t even know how to begin to pronounce”

Alex’s lip catches in her teeth, guilty. “That’s probably my fault. We were practicing and Ruby noticed that she could kick the school’s soccer ball harder and further than she could her own. She honestly thought that she was doing something wrong and that she wasn’t as good as she thought she was--which is complete nonsense because she’s amazing and i told her as much-- but i didn’t want her to feel bad so i told her that with the ball she has her power is limited by the ball’s coefficient of restitution. I was just trying to make her feel better, i didn’t mean for her to want to go out and actually buy a FIFA approved match ball or anything” Alex inhales, breathless and only a couple syllables away from outright panting.

_Rambling, well that was new._

Sam tilts her head “should i add physicist to my list from earlier?”

“No, its just.. Stuff i picked up reading journals and this one dissertation that my--” Alex suddenly groans, cutting herself off. “Oh god, i sound like an _actual_ nerd right now, Kara was right i am worse than Winn”

“No its sweet” laughs Sam “you’re well rounded”

Alex scoffs, playfully affronted “sweet? according to Ruby i'm a badass”

“Who says you can’t be both? Intelligence _is_ pretty badass” Sam teases.

“Oh yeah?”

“For sure”

“Well, in that case i’m pretty formidable” says Alex.

“There was never any doubt” Sam quips, struggling to hold back a grin.

A sudden gasp from the parent audience kills the witty remark on the tip of Alex’s tongue. Her eyes snap towards the boisterous field just in time to see the soccer ball catapulted into the goal at the exact same moment that the shooter, Ruby, goes down hard, rolling twice along the ground before coming to a stop.

Sam bolts upwards and is out of her seat and running towards her daughter, cradling her knee on the ground before Alex can even blink.

The first-aider, a greasy kid who looks barely out of high school, hovers above Ruby with a sickly green complexion and a level of nervousness more suited to a med student just informed that they’re about to perform open heart surgery on the president than a first-aider tending to a skinned knee.

Alex rolls her eyes before gently maneuvering through the gathered crowd of children. She removes the _still_ unopened first aid box away from the teen’s useless hands and kneels down next to Ruby who’s staring at her bleeding knees in something like shock.

Beside her is knelt Sam, Sam who’s brushing her daughter’s hair back away from her face and wincing emphatically while questioning her on whether anywhere else is hurting.

“Ruby, i’m going to clean this scrape ok?” starts Alex, slow and purposeful so that Ruby understands. She’s a little concerned about the girl’s continued silence and hopes strongly that she doesn’t start crying “It’ll only sting for a moment”

Ruby looks up and suddenly breaks out into a wide grin “did you see my goal? Five seconds on the clock and i scored!” she’s almost buzzing with excitement.

Alex blinks, bemused.

“We won!”

Sam chokes out a laugh.

“I did all the things you taught me and it worked, even Nelson’s dirty tactics couldn’t stop me!”

Two yellow, smiley face plasters are applied to Ruby’s skinned knees. “You really are a force to be reckoned with” says Alex while carefully sealing the edges down with a gentle pat.

The end of the match is announced via megaphone with the scoring of each team coming quickly after. Ruby, along with the rest of her team lets out loud, delighted cheers while their not-so-victorious opponents begin sulking their way back towards their parents.

There’s a muted wince to Alex’s right as Ruby tries to stand, Sam holds up most of her unsteady weight with an uneasy frown.

Regardless of what Kara or J’onn or Winn or anyone’s else who’s ever spoken to her for at least five minutes might say, Alex doesn’t view herself as a particularly impulsive person. Today, however, appears to be a day of surprises because before

her brain has even caught up to what her body is doing she’s reaching down and placing Ruby up on her shoulders.

Ruby lets out an excited whoop from her new position. “Look mom, i’m a plane” she says, throwing out her arms in imitation of aeroplane wings before moving them in a tilting motion.

Alex grins before speeding her walk up into a light jog and adding a couple of spins for dramatic effect.

“Be careful--” starts Sam before chuckling as Ruby begins to shriek out a mayday relay causing Alex to slow before stilling with an over the top crashing sound effect.

Sam shakes her head with a amused smile as she walks past the panting pair “come on you dorks”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College exams are hard, they're no way near as hard as typing soccer instead of football though.

**Author's Note:**

> This is already mostly written so updates will be quick (or at least my version of quick)


End file.
